Posts Tagged children

Thursday, March 28, 2013

There are a few things parents my age cannot seek advice from our own parents about. At least they cannot speak from experience. Technology has changed so drastically in just the last 10 years that it can be hard for parents to keep up. And the pace of change continues to progress so rapidly my head spins. Just when I get the hang of one new gadget, software or social media site, a new latest and greatest comes out that has to be learned.

Unfortunately, as a parent, I have to keep up with what is going on with new game apps and what they do. Not because I want to use them, but because I absolutely know my children are going to be wanting to use them. I have to stay in-the-know at all times. Don’t you ever just long for the days when books were only on paper, games were only on boards and the Dewey decimal system was the hardest thing to learn to use? Sigh.

Study after study continues to come out spelling out the dangers and long-term effects video game playing is having on our children and their development, eye sight and brain function. Not to mention their over-all health and obesity challenges. Now we fight with our children not only about using soap in the shower and cleaning their rooms, but how often and how long they can play their video games on Xbox or Wii or a handheld contraption. It makes me exhausted just thinking about it.

With all that being said, there can be positives to the video games. As you know, three of my four are boys. And the two youngest boys argue and fight on an hourly basis. And every minute in between. It is so frustrating. But video games can be a source to bridge that gap between them sometimes. And I welcome that whole-heartedly. My hearts desire is for them to have a close bond and friendship that will last throughout their lives. I want all four of my children to be each other’s best friend. To be each other’s safe place.

During spring break on our stay-cation, we spent some down time at home just hanging out with each other and relaxing. Unfortunately, the weather kept us inside more than we wanted. But several times, the boys found their common interest and spent some quality time together.

The three boys all grabbed their “phones” (Seth and Cooper’s are not really phones, only gaming devices, but we call  them phones because they think it sounds cool) and sat in Dad’s chair. They all have a game called Minecraft where they can play together at the same time. This is a game where you build a house, garden, cave etc., and you mine for gold and other resources. They strategize together and discuss what they can build and how. They sat in that chair together for at least an hour of harmonious play time.

The next day they gathered in Justin’s room to play again. I could hear them talking about their “resources” and how they can acquire more. It was fun to eavesdrop on their conversation and debates about all the ideas for their virtual world. They even continued to exchange ideas at the dinner table that night, long after the games were put away.

I just want to take a moment to point out, I don’t know why they put all those throw blankets from the basement on Justin’s bed. His comforter is the nice, plaid comforter peeking out from under those layers. I would hate for you to think I am making my teenage son have a leopard print blanket as his bedding. Okay, I can go on now. Thank you for indulging me.

I love seeing them just hanging out together. And oddly, technology is making that happen. It is giving them the common interest despite their age differences they need to spend time together by their own choosing.

The other benefit Dad and I have found with all this technology is that they want it. And we are not paying for it. Therefore, to get it, they must buy it themselves. They have learned to save and earn to pay for what they want. They have saved birthday and Christmas money from grandparents and asked for extra jobs around the house to earn money. At the time of their birthdays, I give them the option of having a party or taking half the money I would have spent on the party as their gift. Cooper’s birthday was last month and he chose the money. Between birthday money and Christmas money, he had enough to purchase his phone.

I know the cons to all this technology are real. We have to continue to learn how to handle it appropriately, monitor what they have access to, and limit the time spent playing with it. It is the world we live in today, and we have to learn as parents how to best find the appropriate balance.

The challenge is finding the creative ways to make more positives than negatives.

How do you handle the issue of technology with your children?

Monday, September 12, 2011

I am excited to introduce you to today’s mother, Becca Lay, from Wynona, Oklahoma. She is a mom in the trenches of motherhood everyday, not only with her two little ones, but caring for other’s precious bundles as well.

Becca and her husband, Jeff, have two girls, Lizzie age 5, and Hannah age 2. Becca wanted to stay home with her girls, so in order to do so she runs a small child care in her home. Not only do her clients have a peace of mind leaving their children in Becca’s capable hands, her daughters enjoy having playmates everyday in their home.

Becca and her two bundles of pride and joy, Lizzie and Hannah. They are all smiles being with Mom.

I asked Becca the following questions so we could get to know her better.

What do you wish someone had told you before you had children? I wish someone had told me how absolutely tired and exhausted I would be! I never imagined that even just one child would totally wear you out in a day.

What drives you crazy? It makes me crazy when I see parents who do not realize the blessings they have been given in the form of their child/children. I hurt for the kids who don’t get the love, adoration and attention that they so badly need. Also, finding dishes on the table or countertops after the dishwasher is already loaded and running is really annoying! (smile)

What are you most passionate about concerning being a mother? The health and safety of my children. I get teased a lot by family and some friends because I am a big stickler on the car seat laws. My girls are small for their ages, and I’m determined to keep them in appropriate seats until they really are big/old enough to not be. It is also important to Jeff and I to make sure the girls are raised in church. We have an awesome church and we love Lizzie talking about going to see her Sunday school teacher, and Hannah pointing to the church building as we pull up. I love it when our 2 year old starts screaming, “That’s my church!” when we are driving past.

How do you feel about your role as a mother? I love being a mother. I know that without a doubt my children are one of the greatest blessings God has given me. I’ve always known that I wanted to be a mom. Being the mommy to my two little girls is so much better than I would have ever imagined, even though it can be difficult at times.

What is the one thing you would tell a new mother? Take pictures of everything, because it all goes by so fast. And don’t worry about taking too many pictures – there is no such thing. There’s also no such thing as spoiling a baby. Go ahead and hold them all you want, because someday they will find independence – and then it may be difficult to even get a hug or kiss, especially in public places!

Becca and her husband Jeff. One of the greatest gifts parents can give their children is to love and respect each other. Becca and her husband exhibit that daily.

Wynona is a small town in northeast Oklahoma, and sometimes it doesn’t even get a dot on a map. Becca is living proof that mothers can have a great impact on the world and future generations, even from the smallest places. She is committed to motherhood, to raising Godly women and to making our next generation one of Christian values and character.

She faces her challenges each day with a smile and great energy, and celebrates every milestone of first steps and new independence. Not only is she a positive influence on her own children, Becca is impacting others in her day care each day with the same passion and love for motherhood. She is a perfect example of making an enormous difference by doing what society may regard as the little things.

We appreciate your commitment, Becca, to the little things, because all mothers know, the little things are what make the greatest impact. Thank you for sharing your life with us, Becca, we are honored for the glimpse.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Let me start by saying, my husband rocks when it comes to playing single-Daddy. He is hands-on and, as I have stated before, he doesn’t babysit his children, he parents them. So when it comes time for me to leave town for a couple of days, he has things under control. True confession, it is me that is in the tizzy.

I am so excited to head to Nashville to partner with American Mothers, Inc. (AMI) and work the MOPS convention. I will be selling my book and promoting AMI for 2 1/2 days, but I am most excited to meet these amazing young  mothers. Yes, I know they are amazing simply because they are attending a convention to improve themselves and grow mentally and spiritually as women and mothers.

Any mother knows that to surgically remove yourself from your children for more than 2 hours takes an act of congress. So to be making this 2 1/2 day trek, is nothing short of miraculous. I can tell you exactly what these mothers will be doing tomorrow.

Laundry, laundry and more laundry. Cooking and storing 3 days worth of meals. Writing out to-do lists and to-don’t do lists for her hubby, mother-in-law or whomever is watching over her little cherubs while she is away. Then she will stand in her closet for 28 minutes in shock and awe that there is nothing without an elastic waist line to wear. Thoughts interrupted by the call of the wild, you know, the two young’uns fighting over a piece of candy found in the couch cushion, she will grab a suitcase and moan, “This will have to do.”

After much tears, wiping snot and shouting last minute instructions, she is off to rejuvenate, renew and refresh and spend her whole time away from her children missing them. She will battle the inner voices inside arguing the guilt of being away from her family, against the satisfaction of being able to enjoy personal growth time just for her. Yes, these are indeed amazing moms, and I cannot wait to meet them.

I would write more, but I have to get back to my state of tizzy. I am only half way through my to-don’t do list and I still have to serve my 28 minutes in my closet. And by the way, why can’t yoga pants be considered professional wear? Just something to think about….