Posts Tagged motherhood

Thursday, October 4, 2012

I have sat down at my computer about 7 different times in the past 2 days to blog. Even now, I am ignoring “Mom? Mommy?” as I am typing this. The laughter in the other room mixed with crying, banging and yelling are at the usual constant-loud level. I wish my ears had an on-off button sometimes.

My daily plan is to accomplish most of what I hope to during the school hours. But for some reason, it doesn’t seem to work according to plan. Errands, cleaner drop-offs, grocery trips, doctor’s appointments and quick trips to the school to pick up a sick kid or drop off forgotten binders seem to take over my day. And heaven knows we can’t forget the mountains of laundry 6 people can accumulate seemingly overnight.

On days I am trucking along, crossing off to-do’s and starting to bask in my feeling of accomplishments, I find hidden treasures such as this….

Yes, that is dirty socks hidden in a fake plant. I know. Sometimes a mom can be rendered speechless. I mean, really? Am I not going to see them? Perhaps you would like another angle….

See? The culprit didn’t really stuff deep enough to hide them well. If I were more of a glass-half-full kind of mommy, I may be impressed with the creative approach to avoiding being responsible for your own things. However, I guess I am not that kind of mommy. Because my initial reaction is “Ggrrrrr!” I seem to be sticking with my initial reaction.

I think part of my moaning and belly-aching is due to the fact I have not had one of those trucking along, crossing off to-do’s, accomplished kind of days in a while. For example, yesterday I forgot to make dinner. FORGOT. Not could-not-decide-what-to-make forgot, or got-started-too-late forgot, but down-right F-O-R-G-O-T. I had everything ready to throw in the crockpot and let it work it’s magic for 4 hours…. and I remembered at 5pm. (Guess what we are having for dinner tonight?)

I’m feeling like one hot mess right now. Thank God, tomorrow is a new slate. New supply of God’s grace. Fresh mercies. And left-overs. Aaaahhh. Thank You, Jesus, for left-overs.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Monday, September 19, 2011

Although we know once a mother, always a mother, many moms are under the mindset that we have 18 years of hands-on parenting and then we move into the next phase of our lives. However, more and more mothers are finding this not to be the case. Kellie Thomas is now one of millions raising her grandchildren.

According to a new study, one in 10 children in the US now lives with a grandparent. This means that 2.9 million children are being raised by at least one grandparent. Kellie is a grandma taking on parenting for a second time around, and she was gracious enough to share her heart on parenting with us.

Kellie Thomas lives in small town, Mannford, Oklahoma, minutes outside of Tulsa. She and her husband Gary, have three grown children, ages 25, 23 and 20, and are the owners of an oilfield business. Kellie is now raising her two grandsons, Jr. (called Junior) who is 4 years old, and Rocky who is age 2.

What caught my attention with Kellie is when I found out the principal at Jr.’s school said he was the most polite child she had ever seen. I asked Kellie, “How did that happen?” I loved her answer and knew I had to convince her to allow me to share her story. I am privileged to honor her contribution to motherhood. 

Kellie said, “It is because that is the way I talk to them every day. ‘Please, thank you, and you’re welcome’ are things we say all the time at home. It is common communication for them. I also use big words when we talk, such as beautiful, awesome, outstanding or amazing.” She shared an example of Rocky saying that the “trash smelled horrendous.” I don’t know many children who use the word horrendous, let alone a 2 year old. Kellie’s daily teachings are having a positive impact on how the boys address others outside their home; and I most impressed with the level of respect she uses in dealing with them.

Kellie, aka Momma, aka Grandma with little Rocky. They call Kellie "Momma" except when they don't get their way. She says then they call her "Grandma." Love it! They know how to sweet talk.

I asked Kellie my usual questions, plus one to focus on her second experience at raising children. This is what Kellie shared with me.

What do you wish someone would have told you before you had children? I wish someone would have told me that when you have children they never leave! For the rest of your life, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, you are a mom.

What drives you crazy? I hate people who always run late. I have a life that is in schedule, so please don’t make it any harder for me than it is.

How do you feel about your role as a mother? I did not plan to raise my grandchildren. I was ready to sleep late and go out anytime I wanted. After 20 years, I was entitled, right? But the Lord decided to give me a do-over. You think you love your children? Have a grandchild. It is so different. It is a love, a bond, that you didn’t know could be stronger than with your own child. Honestly, I think this was my purpose in life. God knew they needed me and I need them.

What advice would you give a new mother? You learn with age not to sweat the little things. If it is not worth dying for, it usually is not worth fighting for either. They want a cookie with breakfast or a banana for dinner? Roll with it. Spoil them as much as possible because they will be grown soon. Laugh every day, all day. Don’t try to make them grown before they are; they will have all the worries of an adult soon enough.

Do you find your parent your grandkids differently than you did your children? Yes. I realize how fast time goes by. They are young for far too short of a time before they have to be grown. I don’t worry anymore about missplaced shoes and coats and I don’t worry about what others think. If they want to wear boots and shorts, then do it. Let them express themselves. What I failed in teaching my own children was respect for us as parents, and I will not do that again. I always wanted them to know they could say “no” to any adult so they would never be afraid, but somehow, I missed the importance of always having respect. My grandkids are not allowed to say disrespectful words. I discovered it is okay to tell children that adults can do things children cannot. We are not equal, I am the parent.

Papa and Jr. Kellie's husband for over 25 years.

Jr. recently came home from school and informed Kellie that he was not her son, and that she was his Grandma. He is slowly putting the pieces together and understanding that Kellie is both Grandma and Momma, as he doesn’t really know his biological mother. Then he told her, “We are a family.” How true that is.

Many years down the road, I know both Jr. and Rocky are going to have a deeper appreciation than most for their Grandma. Kellie was right when she said that God had a different plan than her original one. I see that it is by God’s design that He has entrusted these precious lives to her. She is raising up two little men to have strong character and a deep respect for others. Both key ingredients to a successful and fulfilling life. They are most blessed to have her.

All mothers know that no matter how much you love being a mom, there are some tough days in the trenches. Parenting is hard, even on the best days. I know this just from still serving my first tour of duty in parenting. Kellie has readily signed up for her second tour of mothering, and is giving it the passion, time and love of a first time mother. Combine that with the wisdom of a veteran mom, and you have yourself a mother definitely worth honoring. I salute you, Kellie. You are making a positive impact on our next generation and we are better moms for knowing your story.

Monday, September 12, 2011

I am excited to introduce you to today’s mother, Becca Lay, from Wynona, Oklahoma. She is a mom in the trenches of motherhood everyday, not only with her two little ones, but caring for other’s precious bundles as well.

Becca and her husband, Jeff, have two girls, Lizzie age 5, and Hannah age 2. Becca wanted to stay home with her girls, so in order to do so she runs a small child care in her home. Not only do her clients have a peace of mind leaving their children in Becca’s capable hands, her daughters enjoy having playmates everyday in their home.

Becca and her two bundles of pride and joy, Lizzie and Hannah. They are all smiles being with Mom.

I asked Becca the following questions so we could get to know her better.

What do you wish someone had told you before you had children? I wish someone had told me how absolutely tired and exhausted I would be! I never imagined that even just one child would totally wear you out in a day.

What drives you crazy? It makes me crazy when I see parents who do not realize the blessings they have been given in the form of their child/children. I hurt for the kids who don’t get the love, adoration and attention that they so badly need. Also, finding dishes on the table or countertops after the dishwasher is already loaded and running is really annoying! (smile)

What are you most passionate about concerning being a mother? The health and safety of my children. I get teased a lot by family and some friends because I am a big stickler on the car seat laws. My girls are small for their ages, and I’m determined to keep them in appropriate seats until they really are big/old enough to not be. It is also important to Jeff and I to make sure the girls are raised in church. We have an awesome church and we love Lizzie talking about going to see her Sunday school teacher, and Hannah pointing to the church building as we pull up. I love it when our 2 year old starts screaming, “That’s my church!” when we are driving past.

How do you feel about your role as a mother? I love being a mother. I know that without a doubt my children are one of the greatest blessings God has given me. I’ve always known that I wanted to be a mom. Being the mommy to my two little girls is so much better than I would have ever imagined, even though it can be difficult at times.

What is the one thing you would tell a new mother? Take pictures of everything, because it all goes by so fast. And don’t worry about taking too many pictures – there is no such thing. There’s also no such thing as spoiling a baby. Go ahead and hold them all you want, because someday they will find independence – and then it may be difficult to even get a hug or kiss, especially in public places!

Becca and her husband Jeff. One of the greatest gifts parents can give their children is to love and respect each other. Becca and her husband exhibit that daily.

Wynona is a small town in northeast Oklahoma, and sometimes it doesn’t even get a dot on a map. Becca is living proof that mothers can have a great impact on the world and future generations, even from the smallest places. She is committed to motherhood, to raising Godly women and to making our next generation one of Christian values and character.

She faces her challenges each day with a smile and great energy, and celebrates every milestone of first steps and new independence. Not only is she a positive influence on her own children, Becca is impacting others in her day care each day with the same passion and love for motherhood. She is a perfect example of making an enormous difference by doing what society may regard as the little things.

We appreciate your commitment, Becca, to the little things, because all mothers know, the little things are what make the greatest impact. Thank you for sharing your life with us, Becca, we are honored for the glimpse.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

…mine that is. Yes, I had many fears. In fact, I only slept 3 hours the night before. We have been in our new state for 1 month and 12 days, and this is their first time to attend public schools. While I am very excited about it all, I know the kids have not met any friends yet, it is a much bigger school than they are accustomed to and…well, I don’t know how it will be not being taught in a Christian environment. Don’t even get me started on the fact that my oldest baby is starting middle school this year.

I took Justin to his new school and walked him in – upon his request/permission. We walked to his locker and put a few more things in that we had not taken up the week before. He was then directed to join the other kids in the common area. I left him sitting on a bench – alone. Close to other students – but alone. Everyone else saw a cute, tween boy sitting there. I saw a chubby toddler with sippy cup. He was all smiles, eager to get his day started. I held on to my waterfall of tears until I was close to my SUV.

My baby. How dare he grow up and go to middle school. (He thought it would be cool to have the fire in the background. Yes, it is hot outside.)

I cried all the way back home where Dad was waiting with the other 3 excited little people. I was highly offended that Dad did not shed any tears. Maybe by Friday I will be speaking to him again.

Seth jumped out of the truck and was in the building before we could even unbuckle. He had already given me the rules of no kissing, no hugging and let him walk in alone. He informed me that he is a grown-up. I told him when he starts paying the bills I will call him a grown-up. With a sad sigh at the back of his head, I waved bye to him.

Seth, the conqueror. He could not be bothered with the fire and scenery. He used to call me his "sweet lips" and now he pretends he doesn't know me in public. Really?

 As usual, there was no drama surrounding Cooper. We walked in, we hugged and kissed good-bye and that was it. Thanks, Coop.

Sweet Cooper moving up to first grade. He just wants to know how many recesses they have and what time snack is served.

And last, but certainly not least…baby girl is leaving Mommy at home all day by herself. I told her the night before that I was going to miss her everyday while she is at school. I said, “I’m not sure if I want you to go to school. I am going to miss you.”

Her reply was simply, “Then don’t drive me.” Oh, my letting-go muscles are cramping up.

Anabelle my big girl. She is rocking that tie. That was her favorite shirt we bought for school, and she just HAD to wear it the first day. It was in her backpack when I picked her up.

 I took her to class last, with my camera in hand ready to take too many pictures. And I successfully took some great action shots. She was all smiles until…

This picture leads you to believe that the drop-off was an easy one, doesn't it. Don't be fooled by that sweet smile and innocent pose, there is a melt-down coming, and it is not going to be pretty.